Living in a family of eleven - where two members are parents and the rest of us give it our best shot - is a pretty foreign concept to a lot of people we meet outside the house. {We're homeschooled too, so this doesn't happen much [Sorry, homeschool joke... :-D]}
I'd like to give a small dissertation on what it's really like around here, because I know from only limited observation that we're nothing like the Duggars.
Living in a family of eleven means...
...cleaning the bathrooms is a once-a-day job {though it only really happens once a week - and that's if we get lucky}.
...privacy is only available if there's a shower involved - or a bathroom door that can be locked from the inside {this really only works if there's actually a key for the lock and not one of those knobs that you can pick with a toothpick or screwdriver}.
...laundry comes in half-ton allotments where the only things that are right side out are the clean clothes someone found on the floor and tossed back in.
...you're forced to play the I-pick-a-number-between-one-and-one-hundred game whenever there's only one of something left {it used to be ten, but more than half the numbers were taken and siblings figured out how to block their lesser-liked siblings out}.
...the personal food in the fridge or pantry {i.e. chai concentrates, melty chocolate, fruit snacks} that isn't marked with the initials of the owner is fair game for anyone to dig into - and often is.
...doubling recipes is automatic and tripling is rarely questioned.
...the only leftovers in the icebox are the ones no one liked
...if a recipe calls for the dough to be chilled, it is considered debatable that these cookies will ever make it to the 350 degree stage
...you cannot walk through the front door without tripping over at least twenty shoes, which are generally missing their mates.
...being left home alone isn't a frightening prospect.
...you've never seen a grocery receipt that's less than two feet long.
...you've learned how to evade the laundry hamper, dresser, wardrobe door and bunk bed ladder in the six-person room without a light, but still manage to kick the metal garbage can every time you heed the call of nature at one in the morning.
...you haven't slept in a non-bunk bed since you were four years old.
...you brace your hand on the sliding bathroom door when you sit down because you're lucky if only one person walks in on you during the two minutes of your residence.
...you participate in the briefing every night to decide what order the cars get pulled into the driveway.
...first come, first served is sometimes the thin line between satisfaction and starvation {or at least whether or not you get the leftover chinese takeout}
...there's no guarantee that the page you left your book on when you went out of the room is the page it will be on when you return - if the book still happens to be where you left it anyway.
...your mother made a rule that you could only read biographies while utilizing the facilities. Result: drastic cut-down in bathroom lines.
...you've been asked so many times if you're like the Duggars that you're considering legally changing your name and cutting in on some of the profits.
...you can study in a room where two people are practicing, one person is playing and three others are talking and still get something out of the text.
...family councils are called, but nothing is ever resolved before everyone leaves.
...you open up a jar of peanut butter to eat a spoonful and look for it the next day only to find the empty container in the garbage.
...you deliberately stir the jam with a knife only because it irks a certain family member and not because you really prefer it stirred.
...you actually think about stirring jam.
...grocery lists are an all-family effort and generally contain but are not limited to fifty items.
...seating in the car is mapped out before long trips and rearranged throughout the day to reflect changes in sibling compatibility.
...English is your second language - sarcasm is first. He who stings last missed the argument by half an hour.
...cooking for a family of four is a challenge.
...babysitting for non-family members is difficult because you can't spank the kids.
...bedtimes are ambiguous - and mom and dad are usually the first ones in.
...entering a restaurant generally involves dismantling the interior to make enough space to seat you.
...transferring car seats is a way of life.
...younger siblings will sacrifice their time to watch your screensaver when you leave for a minute.
...you can't do anything without three people looking over your shoulder.
...random acts of joy are met with questions like "how many coffee beans have you eaten today?"
...the things you do are always observed - and never forgotten.
...what you choose to watch, click on or listen to will eventually affect the entire family.
...you have great responsibility to be a role model - either good or bad.
...you are a part of one of the most misunderstood factions in the United States. Your image is monitored, critiqued and questioned. You're praised by some and mocked by others. You're a symbol of success and a symbol of failure. You're never going to be "normal".
And that's ok.
Because, according to you, there's no better way to live.
Till next time!
