1. I feel like a fish out of water the minute I walk in the door and realize I can't see because the lights are so dim. (Does drastically reducing your sight somehow enhance the taste experience?)
2. The signs are always written in chalk in some sort of flourishy cursive which looks folksy but is actually impossible to read. Cute, but I already need a dictionary.
3. I'm limited in my size options because I don't know how to pronounce the names they give their cups.
4. They ask if I want shots as if that's something perfectly normal (No thanks. I'm not that fond of needles...)
5. The only thing affordable on the menu is the regular coffee, which tastes like they brewed a teaspoon of water in an entire sack of grounds. I have yet to discover the correct poundage of sugar required to make this drinkable.
6. I'm either working the pitcher of half-and-half wrong or it's perpetually two drips from empty whenever I need it.
7. I can't justify spending half my hourly rate on a cup of tea I could make at home with 5 cents worth of ingredients.
8. I freeze when asked if I want to add anything to my drink because, first of all, I have no idea what they have in those four hundred bottles on the counter or how they might taste mixed with my order and secondly, I don't know how many squirts would actually enhance the general flavor experience. ( I have learned, however, that three squirts do not.)
9. The menu is always behind the counter so I have to awkwardly stand in front of all the incredibly friendly baristas as I take twenty minutes to decide that I'll have the same thing I had the last time I came.
10. I'm not nearly passionate enough about coffee to endure the above 9 reasons on any sort of regular basis or educate myself on the basics of coffeeshop lingo.
This is my confession.
Till next time!
This made me laugh out loud!
ReplyDeleteI haven't been in many coffee shops and when I am a usually get hot chocolate ( to be on the safe side ). #4 Is my favorite!
Becca
:)
ReplyDeleteNumber 9 is my huge one. I hate standing right in front of them and having them stare at me while I try and decide on something. Nine times out of ten I've just ordered the first thing that caught my eye and later wish I had gotten hot chocolate or something else. Also, all of the people who visit them, they scare me. I keep expecting them to start snapping their fingers and reciting poetry about gum on the sidewalk and how it relates to life.
ReplyDelete