I had a job interview this week for a caregiver type of position. The person is an alum of the school I work at, and the job was exactly what I'd been praying for (4 hours a day and only weekdays), so I spoke with her and met with her and am now not sure at all what she thinks of me. Her other caregiver was so smooth with everything and knew exactly what to do and I felt like a bumbling idiot who hadn't the slightest idea what was going on.
I'm still awaiting her call, so I don't know anything further yet. Part of me hopes really badly that she'll call and ask me to take the job and a small part of me still is a little bit afraid that she will.
It has set me to thinking, though. When I first heard of the opportunity, I built castles-in-the-air. It was the perfect position. The perfect hours. The perfect everything. And then I went to the interview and suddenly began to rethink all my former pluses. And then the worries and fears started to creep in again.
I was a failure at this CNA stuff. How could I have been at the top of the class and then mess up so badly when asked to do a simple lift? I'll never be able to find a second job. My hours here will soon become part-time and then what'll I do? A car and car insurance, health insurance and all that stuff aren't immediate concerns, but they will be soon and how will I pay for them with only a part-time job? How will I make it in the world?
Those worries threatened to overcome, but right now I have peace because I've come to terms with the fact that God completely dropped this opportunity into my lap out of the blue and when He does something like that, I can trust Him to see it through. He has promised to take care of my needs and how can I expect Him to do less?
Not my will, oh God, but YOURS be done!
Till next time!
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