Chosen

I thought perhaps I wouldn't have time {or inspiration} this year for a pre-Christmas post, but now with both in hand, I'll give it a go and hope it gives you something to think about as you prepare for Christmas Eve.

I Choose You

When everyone around you sees an ordinary life

Fit for nothing more than common dreams

I can see the stars of Heaven shining in your eyes

Soon the world will hear the angels sing

Mary, I know it's hard to understand

You hold the light of the world in your hands

I choose you to bring the world a Savior

I choose you to bring the world a King

I choose you to be the arms of love that hold the answer

For the world to see my promises come true

I choose you

I know there are many questions weighing on your mind

What is becoming of your life?

Oh, just remember I have called you to leave your fears behind

To walk by faith and not by sight

Mary, I know it's all a mystery

My hand is leading if you'll only believe

I choose you to bring the world a Savior

I choose you to bring the world a King

I choose you to be the arms of love that hold the answer

For the world to see my promises come true

I choose you

And he shall be called Emmanuel

Wonderful, Prince of Peace

I choose you to bring the world a Savior

I choose you to bring the world a King

I choose you to be the arms of love that hold the answer

For the world to see my promises come true

I choose you

I choose, I choose you

For the world to see my promises come true

For the world to see my love come shining, I

I choose you...

Every year, this song is sung during the last Advent service at my church. Every year I love it, but only this year did I realize that the words are not reserved solely for Mary, or Mary's circumstances, or Mary's calling by God. 

In fact - aside from the physical acts of carrying the baby for nine months, giving birth and raising him when he was a child - what God asked of Mary is identical to what He asks of me, you, and every Christian on earth. In the words of the song, it was like a puzzle coming together in my head.

When everyone around you sees an ordinary life

Fit for nothing more than common dreams

I can see the stars of Heaven shining in your eyes

Soon the world will hear the angels sing.

Mary, I know it's hard to understand

You hold the light of the world in your hands.

I've often wondered the same thing: what can an ordinary, not exceptionally bold, constantly sinning human like me do for a God who created the universe and holds it spinning in His hand? It is hard to understand that we are called by God - not because we desired Him, but because He desired us - and He has given us the Light of the World. To hold in our hands for all to see.

I choose you to bring the world a Savior

I choose you to bring the world a King

I choose you to be the arms of love that hold the answer

For the world to see my promises come true

I choose you...

I know there are many questions weighing on your mind

What is becoming of your life?

Oh, just remember I have called you to leave your fears behind

To walk by faith and not by sight

Mary, I know it's all a mystery

My hand is leading if you'll only believe

The angel Gabriel came to Mary and said "Greetings, you who are highly favored; the Lord is with you!" 

Highly favored.

Those words are not solely for Mary either. She was chosen to carry the Son of God for nine months, to bear the scorn of those who refused to believe the truth, to give birth in the cold with only Joseph to help - a man with absolutely no experience in any of the areas she most needed. Yet we, as undeserving but perhaps not as humble or willing, are also chosen to bring the Savior to a confused and desperate world.

 

To bring a King to those who have lost control of their lives. 

To be the arms of His love, reaching out with the only answer that will heal and make whole. 

To prove that the words God has spoken will not return to Him empty.

And we're confused and questioning too. Why this? Why that? What is happening to the life I had under control, organized and planned out?

Why me?

Because we are not chosen to keep this great light to ourselves.We are chosen to believe in something so much bigger than ourselves. To believe it with such tenacity and abandon that we'll do the seemingly illogical and walk forward in faith, not seeing, but only believing, that He who began this good work in us will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.  

And in those words is our greatest hope: that we have not been called in vain. That the God who chose us for reasons we don't understand will also use us in ways we cannot imagine. 

Merry Christmas! 

Surely

{from}

God is good, they said, all the time. All the time, they said, God is good.

It was a chant I learned in the teen girls' group at a family conference. The leaders would shout out the first part and whoever was paying attention at the time would shout back the second half. Then, in the hopes that everyone was by now aware that the next session was starting, they would shout "All the time!" and we were supposed to respond "God is good!"

Which we did. Loud and clear. How else would they know that we'd stopped whispering to our friends for at least five seconds?

There's something about catchy, one-liners. They stick with you through thick and thin and often don't mean much - or at least they don't until they're taken out of context.

As an attention-grabber, this was Scriptural, easy to remember and sounded good if someone is passing by the open window.

It never really sank in at all at the time. Of all the things I learned over those four or five days, it was not "God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good."

In fact, I'm only just learning it now.

I was recently chatting with a friend on the phone and she recited a quote for me that she said she'd never forgotten.

Anything we receive from God that is not damnation is grace

To be honest, the thought had never occurred to me. That anything, anything - sickness, disaster, heartbreak, loss - whatever I think is so bad that I blame God for allowing it to happen, as long as it is not what I absolutely deserve - separation from Him forever - it is His grace. His goodness. His love.

He didn't have to give me health.

But He did.

He didn't have to put three good jobs in my lap.

But He did.

He didn't have to give me my family, friends or wonderful life.

But He did.

He didn't have to give me a headful of stories to love.

But He did.

He had no obligation to call me His child.

But He does.


When I look at the many times I've reproached Him for the things He's done; the times I've complained about my "tough life"; the times I've not even thought to stop and take a second to thank Him for anything - I am ashamed.

He has not pushed me away. Instead, He has sent His goodness to pursue me and His mercy to follow me all the days of my life, until I dwell with Him in His house forever.

God is good, all the time.
All the time, God is good!

Until next time!

Guest Blogger!

Hello ladies! 
Today we have a guest blogger: my dear friend Amy, who is a freshman at Bryan College in Tennessee. 


Here are her thoughts on the plans of God:

A is good...but B is good too

What if I were to be all deep and spiritual and say to you …God gives us choices. Your response might be something like, DUH. Of course God gives us choices! That is part of what it means to be human, why we are not robots, free will and all that stuff.

But if you are anything like me, your idea of those “choices” involves a good choice…and a bad choice. Take Path A and all this great stuff will happen. Take Path B and you will completely screw yourself and your future. Worst of all, you have strayed from God’s perfect plan for your life, so now you are damaged goods! Really, no pressure.

Recently I have been struggling with a decision that, while not completely life changing, was pretty obviously a crossroads. Panic ensue! I was fairly certain one of those paths must be God’s will, and the other one must not be. Obvious right? But I had no idea which was which. In fact, both paths seemed good.

I was talking with a friend about this internal struggle I was having and she gave me some wise advice. In fact, it is what I just shared with you. God gives us choices. But! Those choices don’t necessarily have to be good vs. bad. Sometimes God gives us two good paths, and lets us choose. He lets us pick our blessings.

Or, as the speaker the next day put it, A is good. But B is good too.

Did you catch that? In case I didn’t, God sent it to me twice, first from my friend and then from a speaker. A relationship with God is not a blind attempt to follow a hidden path. It is not sitting around wondering if He said left and you misunderstood and went right. God doesn’t have just one perfect path laid out that if you stray from you are screwed. He is the God of the universe and knows what you think before you even think it. He knows the decisions you are going to make long before you make them. Yet somehow, in some marvelous way beyond my comprehension, He allows us freedom in the relationship. A freedom to choose, because He has provided Path A and Path B and both lead to blessings. Of course, there is also a Path C that leads away from God. We have freedom to choose that too.  

Mind blown yet? Perhaps I can give a more personal example. When I was six years old, I decided I wanted to go to Patrick Henry College. And for almost twelve years, that was my ambition. It was simple a fact of life. I was going to go to PHC. And in a way, God did open up that door. I was accepted to the school, got scholarships, path A was ready for me.

But so was Path B. There was this school in Tennessee, you see, a little bit bigger than PHC, and more missions focused, called Bryan College. They were actually…pretty awesome. But more awesome than PHC? I was in doubt. Yet when it came time to make my final decision, it wasn’t so easy. Bryan or PHC? Path A or Path B? I didn’t know. I assumed one was God’s perfect choice, and one was less perfect. Though it was not my main concern by any stretch of the imagination, one of my friends summed up the uncertainty when she said, “What if my future husband goes to the school I was supposed to go to, and I don’t meet him?”

Path A or Path B?

Well, those of you who know me know the answer. I chose B. I went to Bryan. And yet even though I have been here going on five months, and I absolutely LOVE it, I have often wondered…why God? Why did you put that desire for PHC in a little girl’s heart if you were going to take me here? Was I just being stubborn? Did I make the wrong decision? But here seems so right.

In light of this idea about choices, I believe God would have blessed me if I had gone to PHC. I know, without a doubt, that Bryan College has blessed me more than I ever imagined. God gave me a choice…and wherever I go, He goes with me. There is no yellow-brick path that I must absolutely NEVER stray from. Sometimes there are two perfectly good directions.

Now, here is what I am not saying. I am not saying God endorses every decision we make. If I go out and get drunk, God may bring beauty out of that pain, but that doesn’t mean it was His will. And sometimes, there is a very clear Yes and a very clear No. We have to be in tuned to that. There is no point of no return with God. He will love us no matter what, but there is definitely a line of what God’s willis and what isn’t. Discovering His will isn’t always easy, but I have found Scripture, wise counsel, and simply prayer to be the best answers.

God gives us freedom in our relationship. He doesn’t micro-manage. We are not half-robots that have no say in the good stuff. He has a will for us, yes, but sometimes we get to pick the blessings that go with that will. For me, that is a life-changing realization. I am carrying a burden I don’t need to when I stress out about pleasing God. Because on my own I can’t please God, and that is okay.

Thanks, Amy! 


'Till next time,

Prepared for Disillusionment?

Dis-il-lu-sion: the condition of being disenchanted

All my life, I've been prepared for disillusionment in my faith. I would read books, read the Bible, pray, memorize, highlight, underline, and scribble entry after entry in frustration-packed journals.

It seemed that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I read, or how long I prayed, disillusionment would always come. My soaring worship of God lasted only a moment, my commitment to remain steadfast lasted - if I was lucky - a week, my aspirations to get to know God better would crumble and turn to dust and I was left again with that haunting knowledge that I had failed God again.

Disenchantment.

The wonder, the excitement, the joy was gone.

What I didn't realize was that God was never gone.

That's what I realized today.

That God is never gone.

Even those months - years sometimes - when my Bible reading became a perfunctory act, meaning less and less each day, fulfilling less and less each day, become more of a drag than anything else. Even when I cried in frustration and desperation, reaching out for a God whom my imagination had sent far away, a God who I thought had turned his back...

He was there.

I just never realized it.

But today, when I felt the impassive reading, the skimming over words without really taking them in, the uninspired prayer, I became afraid.

I found that I didn't want disillusionment anymore. I wanted to still grasp and hold the joy I've been feeling, to revel in the steady knowledge that God was holding my hand, to capture the excitement of reading His word where the verses would speak to me like they never had before. I didn't want to let it go.

I didn't want to let it go.

But I could feel it slipping through my fingers and I felt helpless to stop it and desperate to keep it.

I prayed with Psalm 47, but the words had no meaning and my prayer had no power, no inspiration. I cried out to God. I didn't want to just grasp the marvel for a moment and then see it slip through and shatter on the ground. I didn't want another set of months full of apathy. I didn't want to have Him turn again into the God who doesn't care. The God who doesn't hold my hand.

And then, He turned my attention to a verse I had underlined on the other page.

Be still and know that I am God...


I tried to grasp it, I tried to struggle against the disillusionment that was creeping in and then I realized that it was that simple.

He is GOD.

And I realized that the years of disillusionment had been of my own making. They had come because I had failed to fight for what was important. I had allowed joy and peace and...God to slip through my fingers because I had been too lazy to fight for them. To unimpassioned to grasp and hold on until they gave me blessing, like Jacob did at the ford of Jabok. I had let it go before it had time to ripen. And in doing that, I had lost out on the fruit it gave.

What a fool I was.

But a fool no longer.

This time, I'm going to let go. I'm not going to just brush the fruit with my lips and then throw it away. I'm not going to be content with a mere slip of a blessing. I want the whole fruit. The whole blessing. I want to know Christ and the power of His Resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. (Philippians 3:10-11) I want to press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me (Philippians 3:12b). (What an honor it is to know that He took a hold of me for a reason!) And I am going to fight to keep what I had already attained and I am going to attain more. I'm not going to give up. And with that resolution comes peace. Because with God at my side I know that I can fight and I know that I can win.

Determined to fight, I prayed another Psalm. Psalm 50. This time I prayed it out loud. And as I read the verses, paying attention to what they said, I felt almost as if God Himself was reading the words to me. I could hear His voice in the words, His vow in the promises, His power in the judgments - and I knew that He was there.

He is God.

He is alive.

And He is with me.  

And the fear fled and the disenchantment faded and I felt strong and whole and loved again.


Before God, darkness flees.

Fear is darkness.

And disillusionment is a part of fear.

'Till next time,

Take My Hand

I'm reading a book right now, what I call a "Christian self-help book", (basically a book that is non-fiction and written for inspiration, teaching, challenging, inspiring, ect.) and as I read, I grow frustrated and impatient at my seeming inability to grasp the deepness of God and to walk with Him.

The author challenges to live fully in the beauty of Christ. To live a life of thankfulness, a life of praise, a life devoted to finding the gifts God showers down every day and opening them, savoring them and thanking Him for them.

It's a beautiful way to live life. Savoring every moment for the gift tucked away inside. Letting your heart overflow with thankfulness to the loving Father who delights in giving you the best.

So why do I find this so frustrating?

I realized the reason this morning, when I was reading chapter six. The answer had nothing to do with the premise of the chapter. Instead, it was a whisper from God to my heart that gave me peace from my clawing for instant perfection.

I am an impulsive person. I do things without thinking, I do things quickly and I always want to do things now.  If I read something that inspires me, I want my life to change now. If I see something that I want, I want it now. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wander. I want to see it, do it, have it.

So, I immediately want my life to change. To savor beauty, to fill to the brim and further with thanksgiving, to show the world the glow of joy that comes when I am truly living a life devoted to God.

And, of course, perfection does not come overnight.

In fact, perfection doesn't come at all.

And immediately I am irritated, angry, jealous. I see others living this way, I see the joy of it on their faces. I see them being everything I want so badly to be.

But for me, the fulfillment seems just out of reach. I brush it with my fingertips from time to time. I feel the surge of joy when I truly enter the moment God has placed in my life for me alone. But that moment is brief, and it fades away. And I forget to enter the next. Then I read more and I am frustrated and afraid and I go on with my life, determined not to forget anymore. But soon I do, and then the feelings return. That I'm not good enough to do this, that I'm a failure to God. Will He give me more gifts if I miss the ones He already gave? Will He bother to reach down and open His hand if I forget to thank Him for the blessings I have selfishly snatched from His palm before?

I feel like an ungrateful child. Unworthy of the attentions of a loving God.

So I form in my mind a God of coolness. I make Him out to be a God who doesn't give when I forget. I see Him watching me, disappointed when I fall. I imagine Him turning away when I rush my prayers. Looking away when I don't do things right. I tell myself that He doesn't care anymore because I've dashed Him into the rocks so many times with my failures. And when I tell myself these things, life goes gray and the sweetness is gone and the joy fades away.

 But then I am reminded who HE is.

And He is not a God that turns away at my failures, who forgets me when I do not pray, who is angry when I fall.

He is a God who forgets my sins and sends it as far as the east is from the west. He is a God of joy who delights in giving gifts, even to someone as ungrateful as me.

He is Love. Embodied. Personified. He is Love and He can be no other.

So I remember this and take courage and try again. Disillusionment will still haunt me. Pride will make me stumble. Anger will make me fall. Frustration will knock at my heart. Unworthiness will darken my soul. I will still feel as if I fall short of the mark I make when I look at others who I see as being ahead of me in this race I have created in my mind. I will still wear myself out trying to be the best. Trying to attain everything I think I should. Trying to be the perfect child I tell myself God will love.

And there it ends. With me, me, me.

I will do this. I will do that. I must attain. I must be. I. I. I.

So where does it end?

Does it end when I am so exhausted that I cry out to God and say: "this is too hard!"?

Does it end when I have frustrated myself to the point of despair because I can never be good enough?

Does it end when I have pushed myself so far towards perfection that I have forgotten the real reason I am alive?

Where, God? Where does it end?

And this is what Jesus whispers in my ear. In the midst of my frustration, my longing, my efforts. When I look at myself and hate what I see. Hate the stumbling, the falling, the imperfection. The fact that I cannot do this. This is what He says:

"Why do it alone?"

I am stunned as I realize with clarity that this is why God is here. This is what He wants.

He wants me to give Him my hand and ask Him to help me walk down the road.

He understands.

He doesn't expect me to be perfect on my own.

He doesn't want me to push Him away and try to accomplish perfection on my own.

It's not something I should do on my own.

It's not something I can do on my own.

It's God who will take my hand and show me the way in His own time. I don't need to wear myself out trying to get ahead. It is God who will remind me to thank Him, like my mother reminded me when I was young. He won't judge when I forget, He won't turn away when I take gifts for granted. He'll take my hand and show me the way.

All I have to do is take His.

'Till next time,