Is it...Is it a SIGHTING?

Hello blog friends!

Woah, what a week it has been. Actually, I take that back. It's been a pretty bumpy ride since November 1st. Not that any of you can tell by the absence of the Nano ticker on the sideboard of my blog due to the absence of any activity whatsoever on this blog (for which I do truly apologize) that I am not - I repeat - AM NOT participating this year.

Twas a sad, sad day on October 31st (judge if you want - I will freely admit that I just looked at the calendar to make sure October and not November has 31 days...). I hadn't even noticed the date and was absolutely intending to go through November in a halfway normal fashion this year (as opposed to last year in which I holed myself up like a hermit and wore out my brain, fingers, keyboard and anything else I once had that might help. Oh, and sanity. Yeah, probably that too... Still haven't found it all either, for that matter.). I didn't have an inspiration or (like last year) even a first line that was promising enough to build on and brought along enough adrenaline and excitement to set up housekeeping.

And then out of the clear blue, the first line came and I panicked.

I looked at the calendar and something inside me screamed "TOMORROW IS NOVEMBER FIRST!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO??"

"Umm...I'm not really sure," I replied. Last year I prepared for Nano weeks in advance. I had chocolate, tea, character outlines, plot points...I had signed up and familiarized myself with the website. I had alerted my family of my soon-to-be-reclusive lifestyle. I was pumped and nervous. I was Suzy-on-top-of-it. Could I dive in like this: fifteen hour's notice, nothing prepared, no one notified, armed with only a first line and a hazy idea of where to go?

For a wild, delirious half hour, I thought I could.

I sought wisdom - accidentally texting my cynical older brother instead of my Nano-veteran friend - and got mixed replies.

Yes! Nano is all about crazy and stupid!  Go for it! 

Do you want to enjoy November?? You can't put your life on hold like that again! 

Perhaps I should have given that response more thought before I sent it...

Don't listen to the devil on your shoulder! 

With a sigh, I gave up my Nano dream.

Thankfully, after several hours of brainstorming, I found that my "inspiration" for the year fit very nicely into one of the novels I hope to finish sometime in the near millennium.

So yes, I bitter-sweetly see the Facebook posts of wordcounts and Nano obsessions, but I wish all of you the best of luck and bountiful words as you pursue the number 50,000.

I will be chasing 15,000 on a novel I'm supposed to be finishing and trying to avoid the ever-mounting premonition that I'm destroying it by inches.
 
May all the forces that produce literature (whether good, bad or mediocre) be with you.

Till next time!

19th Century Remedies for 19th Century Headaches

Getting bit by the writing bug after 3+ months of lackadaisical pretending is a lot harder than it sounds.

I'm having issues with one-dimensional characters who give me the silent treatment because they're a. not the only hero in the book or b. tired of crying all the time. I am to be reminded often and sternly that my heroine does actually have some dignity that I haven't given her myself. (Well, if I didn't give it to her then where did she get it?)

*sigh*

It seemed, as Mr. Bennett says, "a hopeless business" until several things came to my rescue in the nick of time.

Here are my new and improved {and completely indispensable} writing buddies PLUS a sneak peek at the headquarters of my writing life. =)

#1 - Tea Tray

Vastly superior to the single cup, the tea tray eliminates the need to break up inspiration {if such inspiration exists}

 by running upstairs for numerous and time-consuming refills. Plus, it's very cozy and convenient to have such a large quantity nearby. Especially if it's Republic of Tea's Ginger-Peach tea.

 #2 - Period Dramas

Nothing helps stimulate 19th century inspiration like 19th century chick flicks!

#3 - Anne of Green Gables soundtrack

In case Cranford proves too distracting...=)

#4 - Candles

My absolute favorite candle: White Barn French Baguette. It smells DIVINE. 

 #5 - Headquarters!

 By splitting screens, I can watch Cranford on one side and write on the other. Ingenious arrangement to distract myself from bickering characters and tangled plot-lines.

But it helps.

Especially at 1 or 2 in the morning.

Till next time!

March x 3

My top three, ultra-serious, I-will-accomplish-them-if-they-kill-me, goals for March. As you will probably notice, I'm not pulling any punches. This is do-or-die stuff.

Moving on...

#1

...finish Catching Fire before the movie comes out...

Long term benefit: I will be able to moan when they leave out my favorite part - again. {See picture on left} I should probably find out when it's coming out so that I know what kind of time frame I'm running with...

Short term advantage: I will be able to safely look at Pinterest again without ruining the book - because I don't even know who Finnick is right now.





#2

...get Joseph to Egypt in my novelization of Genesis 37, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, and 45...

Long term benefit: Ohhkay...I didn't realize how long this was going to be until I looked up all the chapters. Good thing it's only getting to Egypt that I'm concerning myself with this month. Of course, it would be easier if Joseph wasn't dragging his feet on me. I don't blame him for not being excited, but he's getting there this month whether he likes it or not so it might as well be quick and {semi} painless. This is where he's at right now, poor guy.

Pardon the slapdash, un-thoroughly edited state. However, the writing is mine and can't be used without permission. 

Short term advantage: I can move on to the Potiphar segment which ought to prove...interesting. I'm very excited to see how it turns out. I've been reading some odd stories about Potiphar's wife that are apparently in the Koran {I can't confirm this}. I'm not going to incorporate them, but it's so weird for these things to be in a book other than the Bible.
I'm pulling out the motivational penguin for this goal. It doesn't really do anything worthwhile, but it's so stinking cute! :)

#3

...file my taxes for the first time without being audited...

Long term benefit: Knowing how do file them for next year. I feel like a fish in a whole new ocean, if we want to get prosaic. If we want to be pragmatic...I'm lost.

Short term advantage: Three words: (1) peace (2) of (3) mind - at least until next year. :-/

Until next time {may you be motivated by things more persuasive than penguins}!

Has-Beens and Could-Bes

Over the past few weeks, I've noticed something odd. You know how there are times in life when you will do virtually anything - anything - NOT to write?

It's the most awful sensation in the world, as some of you can probably relate. When you could be sitting down and getting out a couple thousand words, you're actually lounging on the upstairs couch, perusing Pinterest and reading blogs about who-knows-who from who-knows-where because the thought of putting anything under that optimistic "Chapter 5 {or 2, or 12 or 30}" seems too presumptuous to attempt.

I come to the point here: Has anyone other than my sad, strange little self ever been afraid to write?

It seems ridiculous in a sane and sensible way that a small thing like putting words into a document could somehow affect the equilibra of my emotions, rock my world cockeyed on its axis, and send me into a downward spiral of conflicting moods and raging self-doubt.

I exaggerate like the dickens, but it's partly true. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has ever wondered if the words they're putting down today won't be erased with scorn tomorrow and replaced with new words that will be erased with greater scorn the next.

Frankly, I'm scared to death that what I write today won't be the words that should be written {aka the words I was supposed to write but fell through the cracks in my brain and are forever lost}. Basically, I'm afraid that I'm screwing up the potential of what could be - if that makes any sense at all.

Let's face it: the unwritten word is a daunting thing. While it's still in your head it's an idea, a non-solid fragment with endless possibilities and myriad facets. You can toy with it, twist it, put it in the front or relegate it to the back, use it, toss it, like it or lump it.
Once it's on paper, it mysteriously gains a sense of permanency. You're going with it. This is how your story is taking shape. This is the bend in the road. The buck stops here.

Of course, that's not forever true. You can always erase and start over, but there has got to be a point in time when you stop starting over. When you close it up and say "that's the best I can do". But how do you know? I wonder how an author feels when their book is published - done - and they can't change another thing. Do they pick it up and wonder what they could have made better? Do they read it and say "oh drat, I should have said that" or "I could have said this and it would have sounded better" or do they just hold and it sigh with relief because it is done and they can't change it anymore?

Someday, I want to know what it feels like to hold my own book in my hand and see the cover that houses my words. I want to open it up and see those words on the page. The words that I pored over, agonized over, tripped over, laughed over and cried over. The words that came to me in a flood and seemed to write themselves and the words that I squeezed out of my brain one by one until they marched in a sentence across the page.

I suppose every author has the floods and the squeezes. And I expect that one doesn't come without the other. Not every word that comes out will be perfect. And not every word that isn't perfect is going to be changed. Not every twist will be discovered and not every path will be explored. Every book ever published has this sort of untapped potential. Some fork in the road where a choice was made. A twist used and a twist discarded. And that's what a writer does. A writer chooses the road and paves it how they wish. We're the ones who wade through the muck and mire of has-beens and could-bes and pick out the path that doesn't dump you right back into the swamp. A reader doesn't like ending up back in the swamp and will generally tell you such in no uncertain terms. Thus, it's a writer's job to give the reader a story - not the thousand rabbit trails they could have written.

What they don't know, as the abysmally mistaken {and occasionally appropriate} saying goes, won't hurt them.

And the road you decide not to take, as the saying does not continue, they won't miss - unless it's something necessary, like introducing the main character.

Till next time!

Who Do You Write For?

It's a question I've been struggling with a lot lately. Who am I writing for? Why do I write? How do I write to the glory of God and not just to tell a good story with some Scripture thrown in?

Ever since I've started writing, I knew I'd be writing Christian fiction. However, just *deciding* that isn't sufficient. It's easy enough to have someone confess salvation and toss in a few words about God and a couple Bible verses and have your characters go to church. Writing a clean, decent story is good and honorable and there's nothing at all the matter with it.

It's just not what I want to do.

Writing is my passion. It's what I love to do. But if I don't use this passion for the utmost glory of God, then I might as well never write another word.

As you are probably aware of, I've always admired Francine Rivers. She's one of the two or three writers whom I most long to emulate. I would encourage anyone who loves to write and who longs to do it for the glory of God to read this interview with her here.

If you don't want to go through all the material, then here are the key questions and answers I want to bring up. {None of the italicized material belongs to me. It's all the work of Sonoma Christian Home}

Q&A 1

SCH – Can you explain the difference between a “Christian writer” and a Christian who writes?

FH - There are many fine and successful writers who are Christians.  They write whatever they want to write and sometimes weave in a Christian world view.  These writers are knowledgeable about the market, what sells and what doesn’t.  Faith and Christ are not overtly presented.  Christians write in every genre.A Christian writer keeps Christ at the very center of the story.  The sole reason for writing has to do with faith and Christ and what it means to live as a follower of Jesus.  I am a Christian writer.  Without Jesus, there is no story for me to tell.  He is at the center of every part of my work.

I decided long ago that I want to be a Christian writer. At least, that's what I tell myself I want to be. When I look under the surface of my holy ambitions, I find a lot of motives that I don't exactly like to face.

I find that deep, deep down, in the nitty-gritty of my soul, I don't want to write stories to glorify God or help others find the truth of Christ. It's too hard. It takes commitment, it takes passion for the Lord, it takes time in His presence, learning from Him. To put Jesus at the center of your writing means that it revolves around Him. And I, for one, find that incredibly difficult to do.

I have these plots, I have these characters, I have these ideas and words. I don't want them messed with or messed up, but that's what God asks me to do. I struggle with God because I want to write for Him, but I can't give up the need to control the story. I want to write for the praise I get from others. I want to write what I like. I want to do what I want.

I want to write for me.

I found this bit of the interview incredibly helpful in view of what I just said.

Q&A 2

SCH - What advice would you give a new writer?

FH - Commit your work to the Lord.  Write what you need to read.  Write from the passion of your heart and soul.  Write for an audience of One – Jesus. 

I have committed my work to the Lord. Over and over, in fact. I do write what I need to read. Through puzzling with my characters, God has shown me many truths of Scripture. I do write from the passion inside me. Even if someone told me I'd never be published, I'd still put down the words the jam-cram my brain. But the last point... Ouch. I do not write for an audience of One.

I do not write for Jesus.

When I sit down to write, I focus on what will bring praise from the group who reads the pages I churn {more or less} out. My passion is to use the most vivid descriptions, the most fitting words, the keenest, rawest emotions. That's my goal when I sit down. I never even think to ask God what will please Him or what He wants me to say.

Do I write for men?

Yes. Definitely yes.

And that hurts. To see my high aspirations, my promises to God, the goal I tell Him over and over that I strive for demolished by one confession hurts. But it also helps. Admitting the problem is the first step to overcoming it. God deserves better than what I find easy.

I know it's been gloom-and-doom so far, so I will veer away from that and offer some encouragement that God has given me as I've struggled with these questions.

1. James 1:5 - If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

If you don't know how to put God in the center of your story {key struggle for me right there!}, if you don't think you know enough about the heart of God to even begin such a monumental task, if you have doubts at all about anything {writing related or not}, ask God for wisdom. He won't fault you for even the simplest questions. He won't say "I can't believe you don't understand that; it's so easy!". If you truly seek it, He will give you the wisdom you ask for.

2. This isn't going to happen overnight.

Let's face it. Most of us {don't know about any anonymous followers} are pretty young and just getting our feet wet in the whole writing thing. Most Christian authors who get published are much older than we are and much more mature in their faith. They've had years of seeking God, many more than we have. But starting now, at our age, in striving to glorify Him and to gain His wisdom and to do the very best we can will only be a blessing as we get older and wiser ourselves.

3. Don't give up.

I know that's pretty cliche. Everyone says that so much it's lost its wisdom. But truly: don't give up. There are highs and lows in everything and God doesn't get on you for the lows. There will be times when He doesn't seem to be anywhere in your story, let alone the center. There will be times {many of them, in my experience} when you wonder why you even bother. Mainstream Christian fiction sells - why not write it? There will be times when committing your work to God seems synonymous with never writing again. Satan is very, very much interested in keeping glory from God. When you put God at the center of anything, you're up against the powers and evil forces that Ephesians 6:12 talks about. Writing is no different. Thank God that He is faithful and a help in times of trouble! Run to Him when you feel overwhelmed, listen to His wisdom and let Him quiet your heart and put your frustrations and worries to rest.

And lastly

4. Use your writing as an extension of your worship of God.

It's a gift. Same as playing an instrument or having a voice for singing, a passion and ability to teach teach, serve, anything.
Writing is a gift.
God has given it to you, use it as a way to thank Him. Write to praise Him, to exalt Him, to lift His name up.
Words are powerful. Don't use them for anything less than His glory. 

Until next time,

Book Pitch {No.1}

Here's the pitch for the first novel I ever finished! It still doesn't have a title and it's still not completely edited, but every book needs a back-cover blurb to show around. =D And I actually wrote this one - not Jamie. ;)

Though a matter of immense importance, what to wear to dinner is one of the last things on eighteen-year-old Jocelyn Harrington’s mind.

Growing up as a privileged young lady in the sleepy countryside of Derbyshire, England, her life should be as untroubled and tranquil as an afternoon tea. But circumstances, like the gossip that flies through the air, can be deceiving.

With a twin brother missing since the tragic accident that took her parents; a beloved grandmother whose illness is slowly taking her life; a handsome Yankee with a shadowed past catching her eye; a self-indulgent cousin chasing her affections; and a tyrannical aunt ruling her future, Jocelyn’s life is as tangled as the threads in her spool-box. A predicament the independently-minded Victorian miss is determined to change.

Armed with nothing but a crumpled label, a faded daguerreotype, and a fantastic story, Jocelyn takes her destiny to the heart of London, where she uncovers a stubborn and strangely distant brother; a spirited red-head with a faith as fiery as her hair; a romantic mess; and unexpected joy and heartache. But when the future she has planned for herself takes an unexpected turn, will headstrong, self-reliant Jocelyn turn her back or reach out her hands to the God who has never stopped pursuing her heart?      

Till next time!

What's the Point?

Ever since I was thirteen (and before then, just not noticeable by output :P), writing has been in my blood. I've tried *not* writing and I just can't do it. It's part of me. But what, I've often wondered, is the point of writing?

The questions that have been bothering me for years and years of novel-ing are these:

Why am I writing?

Who am I writing for?

and what am I writing for?

The first one is easy to answer: I write because I have to. I can't not write. So there. But the other two questions are much harder to answer.

The who and the what.

I always tell myself "well, yeah. I'm writing for God!" But writing for God entails so much more than just occasionally slipping in a conversion or a dull, washed-out, overused repetition of what thousands of other Christian authors write. Someone always has the answers, someone always gets saved, Christian characters turn the conversations to Christ whether it fits or not.

But that's not reality.

Many times we don't have the answers and we chicken out and avoid telling others about God and the sinner doesn't always get saved.

But taking that sort of realistic approach is not going to cut it either. There's a fine line between perfection, reality and chickening out yourself.

Because it's hard to steep your writing in Christianity without coming off as very Christian and annoyingly preachy or less Christian and limply cliche. I've read both and I can honestly say that neither one is the way to go.

So what is a writer to do?

One of my (many :D) writing heroes is Francine Rivers. I have never read a book by another Christian author that rivets and challenges me like hers do. When I finish reading her books, I don't put it away and say "what a good book!". Heavens no. I put it down and I want to change.

And it occurred to me last night why her books are so powerful.

For me, I focus on telling a "good story" (making sure that my dialogue isn't boring and that my characters are realistic and that my drama isn't over the top {something my dear editor is an enormous help with!}). In fact, I focus so much on that that I lose sight of the real reason I'm even writing at all.

The way to write is not to tell a "good story", but THE story. When I take my eyes off of the fact that Jesus Christ is the center of the story and forget that challenging faith is why I should even be putting pen to paper in the first place, I lose the entire reason for writing anything at all.

I let myself get so caught up in creating the story that I forget who I'm creating the story for. Jesus gets tossed in and yanked out and shuffled around until I have to remind myself "this is supposed to be Christian fiction, my dear; so quick toss something about God in". Haha, I'm sure God appreciates that.

Christian fiction should not be a fluffy romance where the book is considered "Christian" because some cliche Bible passages are tossed in, someone gets saved, there are a few prayers and church services and the characters live upright lives and abstain from an intimate relationship until they're married.

That's what I find so sad about today's Christian fiction market. So many authors who could write powerfully have settled for books that don't challenge or preach but instead spin out a silly, worn-out romance with brainless characters who fill their pages with pathetic attempts at real drama and real life so that we can settle down with something "clean" and "mindless".

And that is exactly why I'm worried about these questions.

Because I don't want my writing to turn into something like that. If the purpose of writing Christian fiction is to allow someone a few hours of fluffy enjoyment, then I don't want to write it. I want my writing to glorify God, to challenge and engross the reader and to give them a new perspective on things they might not have given much thought to before. I don't want my books to be read once and then tossed into the Goodwill box for resale. But in order to write books that challenge and engross and give glory to the One who gave me this desire means that I must put Him before my writing and steep myself in Him first.

And that's another struggle. I get impatient and it's hard to focus on God with all the distractions of life. But, when I get down to the nitty-gritty, what is life really about?

God gave us life and it's really unfair of us to say that we want to live it our way.

So this is my resolve: to write for HIS glory and not for anything else. And if it falls sub-par, then it is sub-par and not worth anyone's time. If I don't write for God, then I won't write for anyone else.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men - Colossians 3:23

'Till next time,

When you wish you could bang your head on a keyboard...

For me, there is nothing more frustrating and depressing and annoying (except perhaps for getting three cinnamon Jelly Bellies in a row) as sitting in front of a half-written document, knowing where your characters are supposed to go, but being absolutely unable to get them there.

It seems to me that I've been working on one scene for the past week. Erasing it, rereading it, hating it, loving it, tweaking it, rewriting it... All to no avail, however, for that obstinate scene refuses to go anywhere!

My recent response to such a stick-in-the-mud is just to erase the entire thing and start over, but...I like it and I can't just toss it to the fishes. All the poor thing needs is a stupid segue.

And this blog post is heading in the same direction. Somewhere between going nowhere and becoming a rant. I need to meld with my music and think through my plot.

Tata till writer's block is over!

'Till next time,

The Woes of Writing

Sorry it's been such a long time, folks. The more free time I have the less I seem to blog. Perhaps because there is nothing much of interest to blog about?

I have been working like a mad thing on a sequel to one of the novels I hope to publish, though, and that does take a lot of time. And cappuccino. :)

I finished the first novel sometime this spring, I think, though to be actually finished I have to go through and edit it (again) and that is not happening at a very advanced pace. To be perfectly honest, it's not really happening at all...

Anyway, it's set in the 1800's. 1877-78 to be exact. (This was done purposefully so that I wouldn't land my character in the middle of the Civil War, which, to me, is not the best time-period to write about.) It revolves around a girl named Jocelyn (who is the namesake of my pen name. Just a bit of trivia for you!) who lives in England during the golden age of Queen Victoria (which also happens to be 1877-78...).

It's a bit generic, I know.

Jocelyn is 18 and having a lot of the usual troubles most Cinderella-story types encounter. Falling in love, a pushy cousin, a despotic aunt, no parents, a grandmother who is, in most senses of the word, dying, and a twin brother who has been lost since birth.

Just the usual stuff.

So she off and goes to look for her brother and the rest of the story is full of intrigue, romance and murder.

Does that sound like anything you would read?

Looking back over the time between starting it and finishing it, it's a bunch of hills and valleys. Anyone who has written anything can relate here. There are the moments when you're on top of the world, writing away and marveling at how a mortal being like yourself could write such scenes, such jewels of wit and wisdom!

And then there are the lows where all you want to do is erase the blasted junk and start over.

And then there's the time when you put in the last word and sit back with a enormous smile and realize that now you have to go back and fix all the mistakes you've been putting off the entire time.

All those mistakes don't matter then (you're finished!) - until you print it all off and see, for the first time, how long it really is.

And then you go back and edit and realize how tacky it really is. How overblown the drama, how dry and stale the suspense, how flowery the dialogue... And that illusive dream of becoming a published author gets blown full of holes and you settle for an attic trunk stuffed to the bursting with finished manuscripts.

 And then you actually take the time to rewrite that bit that always annoyed you or brush up the dialogue that always hit your ear wrong, or polish up a scene that needed just something more to make it work and you find out again that all is not lost, and that you can still salvage this poor story and make it something more than the generic Christian romances you've read and scoffed at all your life.

And that's about where I am with it right now.

Pounding away on a sequel, while its mother book sits in a binder, not even completely printed, waiting for me to slash it over with colored pens.

Oh woe is me.

And I can't even give you a little bit at the end because I still haven't edited it yet and just looking over it makes me blush.

The only comfort I have at the moment is that no one in it faints and falls into some guy's arms.

Till next time,

Holly & Ivy

Jamie's short story - which has turned into more of a novella (she's not good at keeping things short...) - is advanced enough to send out into the world.

Here is the opening paragraph:

Holly Harper's diary was a ten-cent notebook. The marbled cover was smudged with pencil marks and ink blots and her name was written across the top in blue ink. Inside, the pages were filled with curvy, overhand writing.  But it was only half-filled and she would never write another word in it - because Holly Harper had been murdered.

               

I'm Ivy. Ivy Harper.

               

Holly's sister.

If you would like to read more, please click on the tab entitled Scribbles for entry.

Thanks for reading!

&

P.S. She's posting it in segments, so please check back for new installments! :)

He Says

Here is the poem I promised to share. It's far from perfect (believe me!), because I've never really dabbled in poetry much, but this is sort of how it came out, with or without meter or rhyme.

He Says

In heaven, they say, there is a God,

whom the Bible declares is loving;

that He sees me fall and yet forgives all,

but, oh, are His hands held out to me?

He says I’m His dove, I’m His princess royal,

He says that He thinks I’m flawless,

but I’m soiled and stained and ragged and torn, so tell me,

are His hands held out to me?

He says that He cares, He says that He’s good,

He says that His blood is atoning,

but how can He see all that I do, and still hold out His hands to me?

He says that He knows that I’ll stumble and fall,

He says that it’s all forgiven.

But still I don’t see what He finds in me,

that makes my redemption worth the price.

For He shed His blood on Calvary’s cross,

thinking not of Himself, but me.

And the blood that He lost, covered the cost

of the sins that made me a debtor.

And when I believed, He gave full reprieve

and welcomed me then as His child

And now I see that what He says is true,

and His hands are really held out to me.

Still I don’t understand how I can act

as if all of this never happened.

How I can turn my back and forget He’s there –

holding out His hands to me.

He says to be still and know He is God,

and though I really do try;

so quickly my mind fills with other thoughts

and He is pushed out and forgotten.

Then I struggle and fight and try to do right

but sin is an impulse so tempting

that more often than not, I give in and ignore

the God that is holding His hands out for me.

I get so exhausted trying to do what is right,

because my resistance seems so futile

but one thing I know,

that no matter the sin,

no matter the wrong,

no matter the awful thing I’ve done,

He’ll look in my eyes and say without pause:

“My darling, My hands are held out to you.”

'Till next time,

© JocelynRose 2011