Watching the Waves

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

{Matthew 14:29-30}

In the past two months since my last post, I have experienced an allegory of those two verses that has proven once again how great and powerful and good is my Heavenly Father. 

May was a rough month. June was even worse. I was trapped by my fears and often unable to break out of them. I began to have debilitating anxiety attacks at the thought of anything school-related and even the Scriptures I read seemed like empty promises in the face of the fears that were controlling me. I was watching the waves and, like Peter, I was sinking.

I'm a control freak. I wish I wasn't, but I am. When it comes to my life, I like to have everything neatly cut and dried so that I can rest comfortable in the knowledge that I know what's going to happen tomorrow. Thus figuring out how my current life would work in this well-ordered way whilst throwing school into the mix was exhausting and terrifying to me. My worst-case scenarios only added to my fears while my best case scenarios sounded about as cheerful as Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day. I didn't want to live this life that I felt God was calling me to live and I was shaken to think that He was placing me in a situation where I felt absolutely no excitement, passion or joy. 

 Cue the God who cannot stop doing what's best for me even though I become a little ball of fear whenever change blows through. Through this time in the valley, I can echo the psalm now more than ever before: this I know, that God is for me. 

Because the day my fears came to such a head that I wondered if I would be able to function any longer, God stepped in and turned it all upside down: I was offered a full time job at the office where I had been working part time as the accounts payable administrator to manage both the accounts payable and accounts receivable departments. 

I've been working there for almost a month now and I love it. It's exactly what I've always dreamed of doing and everywhere I turn I see God's hand working in every circumstance. 

I'm still going to school this fall, but since I have been given the job I was going to school in hopes of getting, I've been given the freedom to pick and choose which classes I take and when I take them. I've opted for one this semester and will see what happens from there. I'm trying not to make extensive future plans as I'm beginning to learn that God already has!  

There's just one more thing I would like to say before I end this post: God never, ever, ever gives us stones. He knows how to give good gifts to His children because I can look over these past few months where I thought my situation was going to be unbearable and see, piece by piece, how all of it was only working together for my good.   

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said,“why did you doubt?”

{Matthew 14:31}

 Till next time!

Book Review: Divergent {Take 2}

Quickies
1 out of 5
Recommended: No
Categories: Mind-candy, easy reading

Synopsis

In Beatrice Prior’s dystopian Chicago world, society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to the cultivation of a particular virtue—Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, the decision is between staying with her family and being who she really is—she can’t have both. So she makes a choice that surprises everyone, including herself.

During the highly competitive initiation that follows, Beatrice renames herself Tris and struggles alongside her fellow initiates to live out the choice they have made. Together they must undergo extreme physical tests of endurance and intense psychological simulations, some with devastating consequences. As initiation transforms them all, Tris must determine who her friends really are—and where, exactly, a romance with a sometimes fascinating, sometimes exasperating boy fits into the life she's chosen. But Tris also has a secret, one she's kept hidden from everyone because she's been warned it can mean death. And as she discovers unrest and growing conflict that threaten to unravel her seemingly perfect society, she also learns that her secret might help her save those she loves . . . or it might destroy her.

Observations
Since I don't consider myself a fan of mainstream YA fiction, whether it be dystopian, fantasy, romance, or just plain teen drama, and I more often than not wind up disappointed when I read it, Divergent was never a book for me. However, I had gotten pulled into the Hunger Games and since Divergent seemed to be traveling a similar path {and I got a copy for free} I didn't see the harm in trying.

My main issues with Divergent are as follows:

1. I felt that, for a plot-driven novel, it didn't have an overabundance of plot.
The main idea of the book was an interesting one and, obviously, forcing multi-faceted human beings into choosing one all-encompassing character trait is going to cause issues somewhere along the line, but it just didn't seem to be fully developed, with important plot points tossed carelessly around and suffering from severe lack of explanation as to how they are accomplished.

The first five chapters {which are pretty short} ran through a lot of important information like character introductions, faction history, world-building, aptitude tests, and the Choosing Ceremony. It seemed a bit rushed - and it was hard to get your bearings and visualize everything - but since the book is thirty-nine chapters long, it seemed like a safe assumption that more information would be distributed later on.
The weird thing is that it wasn't - not really anyway - because in chapter six, Four came on the scene to stay.

2. As the book progressed, I began to feel more and more as if the focus of the story was not that Tris was divergent or that the factions were crumbling or even the growing pressure of competitive training, but that Four was hot. So much of the story seemed constructed around him that I felt it detracted from plot development. Obviously, I haven't read the other two books so I don't know if or how anything that seemed minor in Divergent may affect the plots of the trilogy, but taking Divergent alone I got the impression that more than a few scenes were written without further point than to tell the reader more about Four's complete dominance in the alpha male category. I know this is the trend in modern fiction, but it bothers me that so many books on the top seller lists are there because they have a demi-god hero and a heroine who doesn't mind looking.

3. In my opinion, the violence in Divergent was mostly unnecessary and over-the-top. Dauntless is the faction designed to protect the other factions, yet they neither seem to have much of anything to protect nor the appropriate training techniques to teach their initiates what protection actually is.

For instance, how does forcing sixteen-year-olds to beat each other up until one is unconscious supposed to foster anything but brutality and hatred?
And making them, even in a stimulation, shoot their own families supposed to help them overcome their fears or give them a desire to protect anyone?

The detriment of this reverse-psychology system is clearly seen in Tris as she battles her way through training. As she slowly loses her humanity and becomes more accustomed to devising revenge on the initiates she dislikes, steeling herself to be the last man standing in the fight ring, detaching herself from her softer emotions to coldly treat others with unforgiveness and grudges, giving in recklessly to adrenaline and hormones, she triumphantly calls it leaving Abnegation behind and embracing Dauntless.

  And Dauntless itself is less of a faction bent on doing their job and more of a penthouse of eighteen-year-old trainers and sixteen-year-old initiates where adrenaline is rampant and there seem to be no rules besides living as recklessly as possible to prove how dauntless you are.

411
1. There is a lot of body-gazing in this book. Tris doesn't let much of Four go unnoticed and I found it a little overbearing. If I'm supposed to like this guy, I'd rather it was because he had some depth to him outside of the fact that he's drop-dead gorgeous. I don't need his body thrown at my head every time he walks in the room. I get the idea and I'd appreciate a side of character to go along with his slightly over-the-top package.

2. There isn't any actual sex in the book, but there's a lot of cuddling, kissing {not just on the lips}, touching, Tris staying in Four's apartment overnight, and a scene of physical assault that doesn't go into detail, but is there nonetheless.

3. There's a smattering of mild swear words. The 'h' word gets tossed around and God's name is taken in vain on several occasions. I don't recall any others specifically, but there may be other instances of  unnecessary language. There is also a lot of juvenile joking and name-calling, which may or may not be offensive or annoying depending upon your personal views.

In Conclusion...
I personally think Divergent is mind candy of the first degree. That's my opinion, I know, and I'm not trying to impose it on anyone. My hope is that what I've said here has only given you an idea of what to expect and make an informed decision on whether Divergent is something you want to get into or not.

Till next time!

A New Look at Book Reviews

Previous post notwithstanding, I haven't been able to get the review for Divergent off my mind. And, I guess, not for Divergent alone, but book reviews on my blog in general. My last post sort of nipped all future reviews in the bud and I didn't mean to do that. I'm passionate about books and writing and I don't want to give up this aspect of my blog because I feel I can't say anything bad about a book. I've been giving some serious thought to the whole situation and I've decided not to stop writing reviews for fear of giving a negative view, but to modify my reviewing style instead. If nothing else, it will be an excellent exercise in speaking the truth in love.

So here's how it's going to be:

Section one will be the quick stuff. Rating, whether or not I personally recommend it and what sort of categorization it can be slotted into.

Section two will be the book's synopsis so you can get a feel for the story without any effort on your part at all.

Section three will be my honest observations. I've come to realize that a negative book review isn't a scathing of the author and their work, tearing what they've written to bits to relieve my feelings, but personal thoughts defining why I did or did not like it presented in a non-confrontational way and leaving the reader free to decide whether or not what bothers or interests me bothers or interests them.

Section four will be my 411 section. In it I will record {to the best of my recollection} anything I remember that might offend a potential reader: language, age-appropriate material, an overload of body-gazing, ect. I may or may not be specific depending upon the situation or how often it occurs within the book.

Section five will be for whatever else tumbles out on the page.

My goal with book reviews is to supply you with what I always want to be supplied with: an honest review that gives you facts about the book so you can make an informed decision on whether or not it is worth your time. I'm so honored that some of you were willing to take my non-recommendation as grounds enough to avoid Divergent, but I feel as if I should offer some facts - minus the scathing - so your decision is not based on my word alone.

Divergent Take 2 coming up next!