*sigh*

I've been neglecting my blog lately and I am sorry. The truth is, I've been living in a sort of gray fog lately. School is starting in a week and I am terrified and nervous and desperately afraid.

It seems really pathetic when I think about it rationally. It's only six weeks. Most of my friends are stuck in school for four years. I know of quite a few people who have done this already and passed with flying colors. The textbook is the size of a pattern book at Jo-Ann Fabrics (very small for a textbook) and it comes with a study guide and dvd. The first week I have one class and the following three weeks I have two a week. I've heard that this class is no big deal, and I could go on and on. These are all things I've been telling myself for the past month.

It's irrational. Why am I so afraid?

It's something new. It's something different. Being homeschooled, the closest thing I've ever come to a classroom setting is Driver's Ed. And tests and I don't get along very well.

When I become afraid about something, I don't go by halves. I blow my fears out of proportion and make these things become far more terrible than they really are.

Am I the only one who does this?

I think not.

Everyone assures me I'll be fine. Yeah, that's not very comforting. On the surface you know it'll be all right, but when you dig down a little further you find your fears again and you assure yourself that everything is NOT ok.

I like to be in control, to know exactly what I will be doing and exactly when I'll be doing it. I hate uncertainty, change and new experiences.

So yeah. Just in case my blog posts are nonexistent or very dull, it's either because I'm studying like crazy or my mind is so full of worst-case scenarios that I can't think of much of anything interesting to write about.

Sorry, guys.

'Till next time,

P.S. Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. - Philippians 1:6