What's A Girl To Do?

It seems when I have a blog topic that I know I should post about but don't want to because it's either too long, will take too much time to think out/type up or is to unresolved on my end, I tend to put it off and blog nothing, nothing, nothing, until it drives me so crazy that I just end up doing it.

Hence this post.

I've been struggling with personal appearance on and off lately. It seems like nothing in my closet flatters, nothing I put on my skin/do in my hair works out, and yeah, the morning exercise routine has been pushed off by the sleep schedule again.

This happens several times a year. I'll become obsessed with clothing, hairstyles, jewelry, shoes, and all the little things that make up what I look like each day.

I get tired of my clothes so I go on a shopping spree and get more things that will soon end up either in the back of my closet or the donation box.

I decide that the reason my clothes don't look good on me is because I need to get in shape and look more like the girls you see in clothing magazines. (Heaven help me, but that's an impossible dream right there)

I decide that my hair needs help, so I spend a lot of time trying new styles, studying people's hairstyles and digging through my drawers for those old doodads I've collected over the years.

I decide that my teeth need to be whiter, so I start stepping up my flossing and brushing and even start using mouthwash. (Though I...don't think it's working)

I decide that my skin needs to be softer, so I experiment with lotions and face-washing routines.

and...

I get frustrated that I can't wear makeup, because I know it'll help me look better in pictures and cover up those annoying blemishes that pop out at me every time I look in the mirror.

I get frustrated that, no matter how many outfits I buy, I never look in them how I imagined I would.

I get frustrated that, though I take care of it, my skin still breaks out and doesn't stay smooth and soft.

I get frustrated that, even though I've started exercising again (even running, good grief), my clothes still fit pretty much how they did before - or look worse.

I get frustrated that my smile doesn't look any better.

I get frustrated that my mouth is too small and my frame is too big. That my hair is hopeless and impossible to style.

And I get jealous of the girls who have everything I want.

I tell God it's not fair. He didn't have to make me this way. I tell him that no one will ever look at me twice and thus I'll end up an old maid, thanks a lot.
But it seems that the more I try to perfect myself, the less time I spend with Him and the less time I spend with Him, the more discontent and imperfect I become.

I've been through this a thousand times; you'd think I'd learn.

It's not about makeup, or clothing, or hairstyles, or getting in shape. It's not about any of that.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair or the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. - 1 Peter 3:3-4

And I know its a time-worn verse. I've heard it over, and over, and over. Same with this one:

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. - Proverbs 31:30

I went to a mother/daughter conference a long time ago where one of the speakers was a young lady who personified those verses. She wasn't what the world would call 'perfect'. She was tall and big and had frizzy blond hair. She wasn't the kind of girl who would ever be on the cover of any department store magazine, but when you looked at her, that stuff didn't seem important.
She was vibrant, friendly, funny and in love with God. I hardly even noticed through my worldly glasses how 'imperfect' she was.

So the next time I find myself spending more time staring into the bathroom mirror than I do looking into the mirror of Scripture, I hope to remember what a dangerous pastime that is. Because charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a gentle and quiet spirit, grounded in and adoring of God is what will really be noticed and remembered by anyone God brings into your life.

'Till next time!