Jehovah Jireh - The God Who Provides

What have I been doing lately?

Tis an interesting question.

Basically, I have been studying. Studying. And, um, studying.

I guess I could assure you that my current blog design is safe - there is no way I have time to tinker with it at the moment.

Since Monday, I have been studying from 8 or 9 in the morning until either 3 or 3:45 in the afternoon. I take breaks to do laundry, eat, and clean dishes (when it's my day, that is).

Speaking of laundry... No, I shall finish this first.

*goes to the basement and throws laundry into washer*

I never did have any self-control when duty calls (haha).

Late afternoons and early evenings are my free time. I try not to do anything related to school except for an occasional peek at the textbook to recall something or taking a crack and a half at the list of abbreviations that I have to know. (By the way, does it make any sense that NPO means "nothing by mouth" and then 'so' means "mouth"? Eesh...) I spend my time listening to a local talk radio host who has a peculiarly soothing effect on me because his voice is familiar and I can depend on it being there (I feel seriously uprooted and out-of-the-loop right now), catching up on Focus on the Family's Tour Course The Truth Project (excellent, EXCELLENT topic on the first section - but I'll talk about that later...), capturing bits of time to read a book club selection Whose Body? by Dorthy Sayers (though I must admit that it's a wee bit too much detail for my overloaded brain right now. I hope I'm absorbing enough to be able to discuss it logically at our fabled next meeting...), attending choir on Tuesday night, playing frisbee on Monday night and watching the Milwaukee Brewers battle their way through the playoffs.

I'm beat.

After graduating early and summer vacation (though I did work forty hours most weeks) and a month off before this class started, I guess I was becoming acclimated to not stuffing my brain with material.

And I've been struggling lately with my old nemesis, fear. And worry. And confidence.

 It's been horrid. I've battled it for years and I'm just sick of it. I'm plagued with fears that I'm not doing enough, studying enough, watching enough, reviewing enough. Ugh. If it were up to me, I would kill myself studying.

Thankfully, it's not up to me.

And thankfully, I have a loving family to support me, friends who pray for me and a God whom I have recently been reminded is Jehovah-Jireh - the God who provides.

In the Truth Project that I watched yesterday the speaker made a point, an obvious, simple point, that struck me as it never had before.

I've heard a million times that Satan is a liar and the father of lies. I even did a Bible study with Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Dannah Gresh's book Lies Young Women Believe.

Do you think I caught on?

Seems like I never do.

The speaker, Dr. Del Tackett by name, said that Satan can't not lie. He isn't capable of truth. He can't tell the truth.

And I've been believing everything Satan's been throwing at me.

I've believed that I'm not capable of this, I've believed that I will fail, I've believed that this is the end of my life, I've believed that there is no way I'll ever pass.

I've believed it all.

And it's all lies.

So if I turn the lie around, what do I get?

Truth.

And the truth is what brings peace and confidence.

Truth sets you free.

God is with me. God is for me. God will provide.

I am not alone. I am not a failure. This isn't the end of my life. I can do this - and I can do it well.

I'm still nervous and sometimes I'm still afraid, but now I can take that lie and turn it around and trust God to help me.

I love Him.

And nothing is impossible when God is at my side.

'Till next time,